If that turned around, I've grieve the special dirty things that we used to talk about.

It's my visceral-mental reaction to commitment that makes my eyes pop out of my head at every nice boy who smiles at me.

I met my first VCU male friend (read: hot guy that I want to--nevermind.) today. He was... Ah. Beautiful voice. Beautiful dark skin. Quiet but intense emotion behind his eyes and, oh. I wish. So who's going to be taking Biology next year? Hmm?

But

I WANT THIS.

I just need to give it a rest.

Where are all of these cuties when I am bitching about how lonely and unexciting my life is?!

This phenomenon, I had to put it in a song.

Shades of gold displayed naturally...?

I'm not a sentimentalist. I just sometimes find myself thinking things that would make good lines from romantic comedies. And for a girl like me, that's kind of a disgusting feeling, in the sense it's a little embarrassing. But I'm young, and I allowed to say things like that? (What is youth if it isn't love and angst. I don't think it's much more.)

I'm being a little shy now. All I want to say is that last night was nice. We talked for a long time under a sky that was lighting but no rain. It was so nice. He lent me his jacket.

Iiiiiii am not a sentimentalist.


There was, of course, a family reunion or party of some sort going on on a steamboat. Where they were blasting rap. A steamboat, on the Chesapeake Bay, blasting rap music: "I got a ho in the front, a bitch in the back." On a steamboat. That was amazing.

He says that I'm amazing.

I am not a sentimentalist.

I got another confession to make... I'm your fool.

If I said that I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow night as much as I am, then I' d be lying. (God, I hope you don't read this. I hope you don't read this. You probably read this, and it's oh. so. embarrassing.)

Bought a cute shirt today. I'll wear it tomorrow.



My brother has generously offered to do some Spring Cleaning on my life.

Wise men stay where fools rush in.

Aquarius Horoscope for 4/24:
You're unstoppable at your chosen task. This is the gift of your dynamic personality and charm. Once you take center stage, work matters will sort themselves out and suitors will toss themselves at your feet.


Oooooh, that's nice. That's really nice, actually. I've been wondering if I'm attractive in cycles, becomes it seems like said "suitors" will pay no attention to me at all for the longest time, and then I seem to get a couple interested parties at the same time. In an ideal world, I could spread people out, you know. Which sounds horrible, admittedly, because it makes it sound like none of my relationships last. I don't like to make premature judgments like that, but, I mean, hey, it'd be convenient.

(That's bad of you, Brandi. That's very, very bad.)

I'm only interested in one, really, and I think (hope) the feeling's mutual. Now I just gotta get over my critical error the last time we said goodbye; I've got to give him the opportunity to make it up to me, that's all.

As far as work matters go, I'll get this summer thing sorted out, even if I have to produce my own show. I don't want to waste my summer. So we'll see.

$3000 for my education: thank you, Norfolk Foundation.

Frank Sinatra is a great soundtrack for a life that has its ups and downs. Michael Bublé is a close second: ("And all on the leaves on the trees are falling to the sound of the breezes that blow, and I'm trying to please to the calling of your heartstrings that play soft and low.")

(I feel pretty, and when I feel pretty, I shop. Ohmigod, let's get some SHOES!)

To anything physical theater related.

Another disappointment, and I'm thinking

Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try...?

Yeah, well I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand.

I'm not really a sentimentalist. But for once, it's nice to fall asleep grinning into your pillow.

(It's driving me crazy that you're not online when I am. I can't talk to you that way.)

Maybe I'm imagining, or over-analyzing, but there was a shift of posture at the end of the night that I didn't anticipate and all I can say is... damn. I wish I would've known (I would've obliged.)